Thank you so much for taking a closer look at our project! Eyesome is a short film about the impact of a distorted body image on relationships, brought to life by a tight-knit, women-led filmmaking team with shared personal experience with the subject matter.

In an idyllic backyard somewhere in Los Angeles, Bodine starts her morning with forty laps in her expansive pool. This practiced routine is only the beginning of Bodine's full day of compulsive body-checking and endless exercise, all without exposing even a spare inch of her body (despite being alone in her immaculate house). All the while, Bodine drifts in and out of a dissociative fantasy in which a strange being––a kind of uncanny double––pulls food from her open mouth. Back in reality, she arrives at the first weigh-in of the day with her usual mechanical coldness, but on this day, something is off; even with every last drop of water wrung from her hair, the number on the scale just isn’t right...

Elsewhere in Los Angeles, Celia starts her morning with a top-to-bottom scrub-down of her cramped apartment. Her face ever out of sight, Celia toils with soap-laden sponges and hard-to-reach corners. From there her cleanse turns selfward, and Celia begins a long series of rigorous ablutions. Having sterilized her body and her home alike, she pauses to finally face herself in the mirror, taking in her reflection with pained disappointment. Celia's next stop is a desk laden with dozens of beauty products, where she sets about applying a thick layer of makeup. Just like Bodine, Celia achieves a kind of trance with her rituals; but on this day, a knock at the door rouses her from her dark reverie...

Through its delicate portraiture, Eyesome explores the negative impact of body dysmorphic disorder (BDD) comorbid with obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) on the separate but mirroring lives of two women living in Los Angeles. In particular, Eyesome seeks to explore this impact in a new light; though many films feature dysmorphia and its accompanying obsessions, they often do so in one or both of the same two ways.

Firstly, many depictions of dysmorphia in film use the condition merely as a plot point or character trait: the story of the overwhelmed athlete as exemplified through her anorexia, the story of the alienated serial killer as exemplified through his imagined disfigurement, and so on. Seldom is much attention paid to the issue itself. But for many people, dysmorphia and its innumerable everyday hardships are not mere obstacles to life but life itself. 

The second trope of dysmorphia in film is to focus on onset, i.e. how it came to be in a character’s life. In this way, these films tend to portray sufferers of a certain age. For example, when asked, “What does anorexia look like?” you may picture a school-age young woman subjected to social scrutiny and family stress and developing disordered behavior around food and exercise. This type of story, though important to tell, is not emblematic of all experiences of dysmorphia. Considering that dysmorphia often persists into middle and old age, there is a whole range of experiences not being represented on screen.

This speaks to the larger issue of how many people with dysmorphia don’t fit a stereotype: they aren’t susceptible teenagers, nor fashion models or ballerinas or featherweight wrestlers. They aren’t being scrutinized by a parent or badgered by a coach. Yes, these experiences can be part of the picture for many; but long after the dust has settled on these formative experiences, people are still suffering. And because the tendency of a dysmorphic person is to isolate, it becomes a lonelier experience as time goes on. Behaviors become habits, habits become personality traits. Concerned parents die, friends fall away, and significant others give up. 

It’s these stories –– of mental illness that has persisted for years and years –– that are too seldom told. And to people who already feel unworthy and alone, this lack of representation stands to be very damaging. Conversely, telling a story that cares to take a very close look at their experience has an opportunity to be healing. In this way, Eyesome looks further, not only by starting later in the timeline but also by delving deeper into a single day. What does an eating disorder look like on an ordinary morning, twenty years down the line? What are the tiny details, textures, and sounds of it? What does extreme facial dysmorphia feel like? What nightmarish images accompany it? 

Through all the ways Bodine and Celia’s experiences of this mental illness mirror each other’s––as well as all the ways they differ––Eyesome hopes to recognize anyone suffering in a similar way. And because the focus isn’t on a larger imperative (e.g. a character winning the big competition or getting better for her children’s sake), the film places inherent value on the internal experience and wellbeing of its two main characters. 

Furthermore, because the frame of the story is two similarly isolated women sharing their experiences with each other, there is an unlikely hopefulness to the film, even in light of its melancholy and ambiguity. Their support of each other through intimate dialogue mirrors the intention of the entire film: to love by looking and listening. After all, the very act of looking closely and nonjudgmentally into the lives of people who think the world would prefer them to look different or disappear altogether is an act of loving resistance.

We are currently in the early stages of post-production! Editing and color grading and ADR, oh my! We shot the majority of the sixteen-page script (whew) across four days and seven locations, and we need 1–2 additional days for assorted reshoots; in addition to some unforeseen technical issues that put us behind schedule, we did not have the right weather on one of our two biggest set days.

A little more on that: one of the biggest reasons we booked our primary location was for the beautiful light by way of its large windows and sunny exposures; however, on the actual day the weather was overcast to an extent not easily salvaged by our lighting kit. As the home of one of the main characters and the setting for the film's opening, the look and feel of this location is so important, and we want to get it right. After all, the film is meant to darken as it progresses in turn with the characters' outlooks... and the sun can't set on a day when it never really came up!

But, hey, we see this as a really good thing! In our effort to accurately portray compulsive behavior, we created a very shot-heavy script, so we always kinda knew we wouldn't be able to shoot it all on the first go-around. Taking everything we learned from our initial shoot, we will capitalize on every little opportunity granted by the reshoot, including grabbing pick-ups and doing whatever we can to make a more complete, effective, and beautiful story.

We hope to wrap production this August (in full accordance with and support of the strikes), and in the meantime we've begun assembling a rough cut and are now turning our attention to building our community and fundraising. A successful campaign here will empower us to finish strong and share Eyesome with you later this year, which is a beyond-exciting prospect for us!

Even if we are lucky enough to have reached our goal by the time you are seeing this (!), we encourage you to please still contribute. Our stretch goal is $25,000 (the rest of which we are seeking to raise through grants and corporate donations) and would grant us a lot more film-finishing capability, as well as the budget to submit to as many festivals as possible and push for good distribution!

Eyesome is a story of love in the face of mental health struggle. If this story speaks to you, please support this project! Even if you aren't able to contribute outright, there are lots of ways to help us reach our goal:

• Follow the campaign & spread the word by sharing it with 3+ other people
• Follow @eyesomemovie on social media & share our posts
• Boost our campaign by posting: 'Support filmmakers @lelenaeva @alexcartana & @remmedahl by contributing to @eyesomemovie on @seedandspark !!' or 'Support women in film by contributing to @eyesomemovie on @seedandspark'

Thank you so much for your support and consideration!