49 to 51
Princeton, New Jersey | Film Feature
Documentary, Other
49 to 51 highlights the underrepresented within the underrepresented. In suicide prevention, the 'leftover pieces' of a suicide are often overlooked; and are at a high risk for suicide. So, with the increasing rates of suicide, let’s remember, ‘Postvention is (also) Prevention".
49 to 51
Princeton, New Jersey | Film Feature
Documentary, Other
1 Campaigns | New Jersey, United States
Green Light
This campaign raised $25,950 for production. Follow the filmmaker to receive future updates on this project.
236 supporters | followers
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49 to 51 highlights the underrepresented within the underrepresented. In suicide prevention, the 'leftover pieces' of a suicide are often overlooked; and are at a high risk for suicide. So, with the increasing rates of suicide, let’s remember, ‘Postvention is (also) Prevention".
About The Project
- The Story
- Wishlist
- Updates
- The Team
- Community
Mission Statement
The Story
The Story
“How did he die?”
“Heart attack.”
Conversations surrounding suicide are often sensationalized; topics of gossip woven in speculation and stigma before fading into the past with the deceased. Seldom do we consider those who are left behind, the ‘suicide loss survivors’. A single death by suicide leaves behind an average of 135 survivors, adding ~60 million individuals to this population annually.
Paintings for 49to51 by our artist Koshika Yadava
[Left] Entagled, [Center] Replay, [Right] Grief
Suicide narratives largely focus on the deceased. The survivors, whose lives have been altered forever, often find themselves living with one foot in the past while lying about the way their loved one died. They want to talk about their loved ones; they want to be asked about their loved one's life; they want acknowledgement that their loved one was a person, and an important one at that. However, the stigma associated with suicide silences and isolates survivors, further deteriorating their mental well being and increasing their risk for suicide.
The South Asian community in particular, faces additional challenges due to heightened stigma, resulting in lower rates of seeking professional help in a world with ever-increasing rates of suicide.
'49 to 51' is a cinema verité documentary that highlights the complex grief of a survivor of suicide loss. Capturing the lived experience and narration of a sister-left-behind, this film aims to gently educate the world on how we can create a society where survivors are no longer forgotten and isolated, and are treated with the kindness and compassion we all seek.
WHO WE ARE
Our film protagonist, Pooja, is a force of nature. She is a leading voice in mental health advocacy and a suicide loss survivor, who opens up a safe space for others through her unapologetic narrative on the grief of a survivor.
Director and Producer Ambalika Khadria is a scientist-turned-filmmaker and a mental health advocate on a mission to create spaces for less-understood aspects of science and society. Through her films, everyday people emerge with their fears, love, courage, and grit. A gentle revolutionary, Ambalika immerses herself in the intimate art of observational filmmaking and illuminates the small acts of resilience and vulnerability that connect us all. Ambalika is also a Suicide Prevention First Aider accredited by the International Association for Therapists (U.K.).
Ambalika with her three babies
This film is supported by a global crew of 25+ South Asian volunteers who have donated their time and skills to this cause. In Pooja's words, "this is a project about this community, made by this community, for this community". For someone who reflects on the lack of South Asian representation in her audience, this team is a source of hope for change.
The A-team of 49to51 from around the world
DIRECTOR'S STATEMENT
“When I was 19, a friend, much younger than I, lost a loved one to suicide. The narrative was colored by countless speculations, judgment and stigma, but my focus secretly stayed on one person - Koel (name changed for privacy).
What must she be going through? Does she want to be left alone? I never approached her. Over the years, with every case of suicide around me, my thoughts went to her. As I imagined her reality, her presence in my mind surpassed the time I had actually spent with her. Over the years, I grieved with her in my mind, silently.
At 33, dealing with postpartum anxiety, depression and suicidal ideation, I came across Pooja, a mental health advocate, stating openly that she lost her younger brother to suicide. It was a breath of fresh air to see a survivor speak out by themselves, and was unseen and unheard in the South Asian community. For the first time, I found my questions answered. Just like Pooja, Koel would have needed our support too. Filled with guilt and a quest for bringing Pooja’s narrative to countless Koels and friends of Koels, I reached out to Pooja for an interview. I am a first-generation immigrant Indian in the US, and she - a second-generation Indian-American. Despite our cultural differences, grief did not discriminate. Pooja’s words gave a voice and meaning to my years of being stifled in silence, and shed light on my secondary grief and suicide survivorship. I thought to myself - this narrative needs to go places. So, I emailed her introducing myself, and we met. It’s been three years now in the making of a documentary film.
Backstage!
This film started with one camera in my basement, and has continued to be a no-budget project. We are supported by volunteers who are donating their time to keep this project going. But we need to do more, and for that we need your help - to finish the film, bring this story to as many people as possible, and inspire others to share."
With your financial contribution, we will be able to -
1. Complete production of the film.
2. Cover post-production costs.
3. Pay for legal counsel.
CREATIVE PROCESS
Interviews and footage have been collected over three years in three cities: North Carolina, where Pooja was raised, Washington DC, where she works, and in Mumbai, where her extended family lives. Pooja leads us through recounting, reflections, and reality amidst conflicted emotions, as an advocate in adversity. Going back and forth in time, we will draw parallels with the complicated non-linear grief of a suicide loss survivor through Pooja’s unapologetic narrative.
The storytelling will include:
Archives of old photographs and videos
Commentary by mental health professionals working on suicide
Outsider’s perspectives of Pooja’s journey from friends and family
Color grading to enhance the picture.
Original Music, Sound Design, Artwork, Graphics and Poetry.
STRETCH GOALS
Reaching our minimum goal of $20,000 will ensure the film can be made.
• If we raise $25,000, we'll be able to cover some of our festival, distribution and awareness campaign costs for getting the film out into the world.
• If we raise $35,000, we'll be able to recover some of our production costs incurred so far, made out of personal savings.
Photos from our launch event in New Delhi, India on July 27, 2024.
"The epidemic of mental health issues in our society does have a simpler solution than we assume. A crucial step toward that solution is for our society to be open to diverse perspectives. In line with the triennial theme for World Suicide Prevention Day, 2024-2026, "Changing the Narrative on Suicide" and the call to action "Start the Conversation", I look forward to you joining me on this path toward a gentle revolution!” -
Ambalika Khadria, PhD
Follow us on Instagram and Facebook
Wishlist
Use the WishList to Pledge cash and Loan items - or - Make a pledge by selecting an Incentive directly.
Post-production
Costs $10,000
This includes the cost of video editing, and color grading to elevate the emotional impact, making it more immersive and engaging.
Sound Design and Music Production
Costs $6,500
Original music composition, sound design and mixing to get the desired aesthetic, support the narrative and set the mood for the film.
Legal Fees
Costs $3,500
For legal counsel to negotiate film releases, contracts, distribution deals, obtain errors and omissions insurance etc.
Cash Pledge
Costs $0
Direct link:
Share this update!
About This Team
"It is our choices that make us who we are, far more than our abilities." - Albus Dumbledore
The above quote exemplifies our diverse team of 25+ South Asians, who make everyday choices to express their dual identities; who are anthropologists by day, filmmakers by night; scientists by day, artists by night; who are psychologists, writers, poets, voice artists, graphic designers, actors and dancers, all choosing to give their time to this very important narrative.
Ambalika Khadria (she/her) is a filmmaker, scientist, mental health advocate, and the Founder of KathASK Films. Based out of Princeton, NJ, USA, Ambalika is the Director/Editor of this film and has been spearheading this project since early 2021.
“Because support groups, don't have to be separate groups.” - Ambalika
Ayon Mukherji (he/him) is a filmmaker and a student of Anthropology. Based out of Heidelberg, Germany, Ayon has been contributing to this project through the film production team.
“Through film, the personal stories of love, loss, grief, joy and everything in between are not viewed, they are experienced. I am motivated to make this chance to be a part of this movement of energy, empathy, care and creativity as impactful for others as it has been for me.” - Ayon
Akshaya Krishnan (she/her) is a graphics designer and holistic wellness coach. Based out of Bengaluru, India, Akshaya has been contributing to this project through the artwork, branding, and social media teams.
“I think we need more people in the world who are actively advocating for mental health concerns because it is vast and has been shoved under the rug for way too long.” - Akshaya
Koshika Yadava (she/her) is an illustrator and a scientist. Based out of Basel, Switzerland, Koshika has been contributing to this project through the artwork team.
Through this project my hope is that we learn how to extend our empathy beyond our personal discomfort and prejudices.” - Koshika
Nupur Godboley (she/her) is a telepathic medium, animal communicator, and healer. Based out of Noida, India, Nupur has been contributing to this project through the social media team.
“We need to stop brushing this under the carpet and start having real and free communication minus the stigma” - Nupur
Ranga Rajan (he/him) is an RnD Consultant and the Executive Manager of KathASK Films. Based out of Princeton, NJ, USA, Ranga is managing the production, fundraising and promotion of this film.
“Anyone who’s been at school and university knows of a fellow student dying by suicide. Most often one would skip the counselor meeting and carry on silently. I am no exception. This project changes the narrative” - Ranga
Rituparna Sengupta (she/they) is a scientist. Based out of San Francisco in California, USA, Ritu has been contributing to this project through the artwork and social media teams.
“I hope to be a part of this movement to help people feel comfortable, safe and supported in sharing their stories without a fear of judgement or stigma.” - Ritu
Ashlesha Chaubal (she/her) is a scientist researching therapies for the disease Cystic Fibrosis (CF). Based out of Chapel Hill, North Carolina, USA, Ashlesha has been contributing to this project through the production and fundraising teams.
“Losing a loved one is difficult under any circumstance. It is made even harder when society judges you for it.” - Ashlesha
Antara Khadria (she/her) is a climate and energy policy researcher and analyst. Based out of Washington D.C., USA, Antara has been contributing to this project through the film production and social media teams.
“When I joined this project three years ago, I was new to the term 'suicide loss survivor'. Many others still are...” - Antara
Pooja Bandawane (she/her) is a PhD student in Biochemistry. Based out of Seattle in Washington, USA, Pooja has been contributing to this project through the fundraising and social media teams.
“I want to better understand why I feel the way I do, and knowing I am not alone, I want to help spread the word.” - Pooja
Srishti Saraswat (she/her) is a product manager. Based out of San Francisco in California, USA, Srishti has been contributing to this project through the fundraising team.
“Far too many people battling grief think they have to go through it all alone. I hope this film really drives home the importance of having open conversations about mental health, and the power of extending empathy in the toughest of situations.” - Srishti
Current Team
Incentives
- The Story
- Wishlist
- Updates
- The Team
- Community
Mission Statement
The Story
The Story
“How did he die?”
“Heart attack.”
Conversations surrounding suicide are often sensationalized; topics of gossip woven in speculation and stigma before fading into the past with the deceased. Seldom do we consider those who are left behind, the ‘suicide loss survivors’. A single death by suicide leaves behind an average of 135 survivors, adding ~60 million individuals to this population annually.
Paintings for 49to51 by our artist Koshika Yadava
[Left] Entagled, [Center] Replay, [Right] Grief
Suicide narratives largely focus on the deceased. The survivors, whose lives have been altered forever, often find themselves living with one foot in the past while lying about the way their loved one died. They want to talk about their loved ones; they want to be asked about their loved one's life; they want acknowledgement that their loved one was a person, and an important one at that. However, the stigma associated with suicide silences and isolates survivors, further deteriorating their mental well being and increasing their risk for suicide.
The South Asian community in particular, faces additional challenges due to heightened stigma, resulting in lower rates of seeking professional help in a world with ever-increasing rates of suicide.
'49 to 51' is a cinema verité documentary that highlights the complex grief of a survivor of suicide loss. Capturing the lived experience and narration of a sister-left-behind, this film aims to gently educate the world on how we can create a society where survivors are no longer forgotten and isolated, and are treated with the kindness and compassion we all seek.
WHO WE ARE
Our film protagonist, Pooja, is a force of nature. She is a leading voice in mental health advocacy and a suicide loss survivor, who opens up a safe space for others through her unapologetic narrative on the grief of a survivor.
Director and Producer Ambalika Khadria is a scientist-turned-filmmaker and a mental health advocate on a mission to create spaces for less-understood aspects of science and society. Through her films, everyday people emerge with their fears, love, courage, and grit. A gentle revolutionary, Ambalika immerses herself in the intimate art of observational filmmaking and illuminates the small acts of resilience and vulnerability that connect us all. Ambalika is also a Suicide Prevention First Aider accredited by the International Association for Therapists (U.K.).
Ambalika with her three babies
This film is supported by a global crew of 25+ South Asian volunteers who have donated their time and skills to this cause. In Pooja's words, "this is a project about this community, made by this community, for this community". For someone who reflects on the lack of South Asian representation in her audience, this team is a source of hope for change.
The A-team of 49to51 from around the world
DIRECTOR'S STATEMENT
“When I was 19, a friend, much younger than I, lost a loved one to suicide. The narrative was colored by countless speculations, judgment and stigma, but my focus secretly stayed on one person - Koel (name changed for privacy).
What must she be going through? Does she want to be left alone? I never approached her. Over the years, with every case of suicide around me, my thoughts went to her. As I imagined her reality, her presence in my mind surpassed the time I had actually spent with her. Over the years, I grieved with her in my mind, silently.
At 33, dealing with postpartum anxiety, depression and suicidal ideation, I came across Pooja, a mental health advocate, stating openly that she lost her younger brother to suicide. It was a breath of fresh air to see a survivor speak out by themselves, and was unseen and unheard in the South Asian community. For the first time, I found my questions answered. Just like Pooja, Koel would have needed our support too. Filled with guilt and a quest for bringing Pooja’s narrative to countless Koels and friends of Koels, I reached out to Pooja for an interview. I am a first-generation immigrant Indian in the US, and she - a second-generation Indian-American. Despite our cultural differences, grief did not discriminate. Pooja’s words gave a voice and meaning to my years of being stifled in silence, and shed light on my secondary grief and suicide survivorship. I thought to myself - this narrative needs to go places. So, I emailed her introducing myself, and we met. It’s been three years now in the making of a documentary film.
Backstage!
This film started with one camera in my basement, and has continued to be a no-budget project. We are supported by volunteers who are donating their time to keep this project going. But we need to do more, and for that we need your help - to finish the film, bring this story to as many people as possible, and inspire others to share."
With your financial contribution, we will be able to -
1. Complete production of the film.
2. Cover post-production costs.
3. Pay for legal counsel.
CREATIVE PROCESS
Interviews and footage have been collected over three years in three cities: North Carolina, where Pooja was raised, Washington DC, where she works, and in Mumbai, where her extended family lives. Pooja leads us through recounting, reflections, and reality amidst conflicted emotions, as an advocate in adversity. Going back and forth in time, we will draw parallels with the complicated non-linear grief of a suicide loss survivor through Pooja’s unapologetic narrative.
The storytelling will include:
Archives of old photographs and videos
Commentary by mental health professionals working on suicide
Outsider’s perspectives of Pooja’s journey from friends and family
Color grading to enhance the picture.
Original Music, Sound Design, Artwork, Graphics and Poetry.
STRETCH GOALS
Reaching our minimum goal of $20,000 will ensure the film can be made.
• If we raise $25,000, we'll be able to cover some of our festival, distribution and awareness campaign costs for getting the film out into the world.
• If we raise $35,000, we'll be able to recover some of our production costs incurred so far, made out of personal savings.
Photos from our launch event in New Delhi, India on July 27, 2024.
"The epidemic of mental health issues in our society does have a simpler solution than we assume. A crucial step toward that solution is for our society to be open to diverse perspectives. In line with the triennial theme for World Suicide Prevention Day, 2024-2026, "Changing the Narrative on Suicide" and the call to action "Start the Conversation", I look forward to you joining me on this path toward a gentle revolution!” -
Ambalika Khadria, PhD
Follow us on Instagram and Facebook
Wishlist
Use the WishList to Pledge cash and Loan items - or - Make a pledge by selecting an Incentive directly.
Post-production
Costs $10,000
This includes the cost of video editing, and color grading to elevate the emotional impact, making it more immersive and engaging.
Sound Design and Music Production
Costs $6,500
Original music composition, sound design and mixing to get the desired aesthetic, support the narrative and set the mood for the film.
Legal Fees
Costs $3,500
For legal counsel to negotiate film releases, contracts, distribution deals, obtain errors and omissions insurance etc.
Cash Pledge
Costs $0
Direct link:
Share this update!
About This Team
"It is our choices that make us who we are, far more than our abilities." - Albus Dumbledore
The above quote exemplifies our diverse team of 25+ South Asians, who make everyday choices to express their dual identities; who are anthropologists by day, filmmakers by night; scientists by day, artists by night; who are psychologists, writers, poets, voice artists, graphic designers, actors and dancers, all choosing to give their time to this very important narrative.
Ambalika Khadria (she/her) is a filmmaker, scientist, mental health advocate, and the Founder of KathASK Films. Based out of Princeton, NJ, USA, Ambalika is the Director/Editor of this film and has been spearheading this project since early 2021.
“Because support groups, don't have to be separate groups.” - Ambalika
Ayon Mukherji (he/him) is a filmmaker and a student of Anthropology. Based out of Heidelberg, Germany, Ayon has been contributing to this project through the film production team.
“Through film, the personal stories of love, loss, grief, joy and everything in between are not viewed, they are experienced. I am motivated to make this chance to be a part of this movement of energy, empathy, care and creativity as impactful for others as it has been for me.” - Ayon
Akshaya Krishnan (she/her) is a graphics designer and holistic wellness coach. Based out of Bengaluru, India, Akshaya has been contributing to this project through the artwork, branding, and social media teams.
“I think we need more people in the world who are actively advocating for mental health concerns because it is vast and has been shoved under the rug for way too long.” - Akshaya
Koshika Yadava (she/her) is an illustrator and a scientist. Based out of Basel, Switzerland, Koshika has been contributing to this project through the artwork team.
Through this project my hope is that we learn how to extend our empathy beyond our personal discomfort and prejudices.” - Koshika
Nupur Godboley (she/her) is a telepathic medium, animal communicator, and healer. Based out of Noida, India, Nupur has been contributing to this project through the social media team.
“We need to stop brushing this under the carpet and start having real and free communication minus the stigma” - Nupur
Ranga Rajan (he/him) is an RnD Consultant and the Executive Manager of KathASK Films. Based out of Princeton, NJ, USA, Ranga is managing the production, fundraising and promotion of this film.
“Anyone who’s been at school and university knows of a fellow student dying by suicide. Most often one would skip the counselor meeting and carry on silently. I am no exception. This project changes the narrative” - Ranga
Rituparna Sengupta (she/they) is a scientist. Based out of San Francisco in California, USA, Ritu has been contributing to this project through the artwork and social media teams.
“I hope to be a part of this movement to help people feel comfortable, safe and supported in sharing their stories without a fear of judgement or stigma.” - Ritu
Ashlesha Chaubal (she/her) is a scientist researching therapies for the disease Cystic Fibrosis (CF). Based out of Chapel Hill, North Carolina, USA, Ashlesha has been contributing to this project through the production and fundraising teams.
“Losing a loved one is difficult under any circumstance. It is made even harder when society judges you for it.” - Ashlesha
Antara Khadria (she/her) is a climate and energy policy researcher and analyst. Based out of Washington D.C., USA, Antara has been contributing to this project through the film production and social media teams.
“When I joined this project three years ago, I was new to the term 'suicide loss survivor'. Many others still are...” - Antara
Pooja Bandawane (she/her) is a PhD student in Biochemistry. Based out of Seattle in Washington, USA, Pooja has been contributing to this project through the fundraising and social media teams.
“I want to better understand why I feel the way I do, and knowing I am not alone, I want to help spread the word.” - Pooja
Srishti Saraswat (she/her) is a product manager. Based out of San Francisco in California, USA, Srishti has been contributing to this project through the fundraising team.
“Far too many people battling grief think they have to go through it all alone. I hope this film really drives home the importance of having open conversations about mental health, and the power of extending empathy in the toughest of situations.” - Srishti