Karate Tortoise is a comedic series about an unimpressive tortoise and his Damsel friend who battle a medley of unlikely supervillains for pizza. Starring Sarah Wharton, Stephanie Hsu, and Gilbert Gottfried, this absurdist piece parodies many franchises and characters from the 80s and 90s.
Karate Tortoise is a comedic series about an unimpressive tortoise and his Damsel friend who battle a medley of unlikely supervillains for pizza. Starring Sarah Wharton, Stephanie Hsu, and Gilbert Gottfried, this absurdist piece parodies many franchises and characters from the 80s and 90s.
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About The Project
Karate Tortoise was born out of this simple question: Why, oh why, of all the eligible creatures on this planet, would you choose a turtle to be a mutant ninja?
Karate Tortoise is our way of revisiting childhood. This began as a way to satirize the shows we loved while growing up-- the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Super Mario Brothers, Looney Toons, Batman, Spiderman, and others. But in the process, we've created something wholly original and unlike anything out there today-- a live action cartoon!
Bringing our crazy cast of human-animal hybrids, aliens, and anthropomorphic reptiles to life is going to necessitate hiring puppeteers, animators, sculptors, and builders.
We're going to need your help to make our dream a reality!
When extraterrestrial spaceships bring famine to the Big City, famed Italian restaurateur, Fatty Bonati, becomes the only guy with food in town. A young Damsel desperate to feed her lizards, embarks on a quest to feed them Fatty's delicious pizza before it's too late. Little does she know that a laundry list of deranged supervillains have been employed to stop her in her tracks. Just when the going gets tough, the freakish chimera known as the Karate Tortoise swoops in to save her life... and take the Italian cuisine for himself!
Before long, the Damsel realizes that Fatty's not the jolly pizza chef she knows from TV. He's got his dark heart set on capturing the Karate Tortoise for god knows what, and it's up to the Damsel to keep her new, dimwitted superhero friend from harm...
Our target audience falls between the ages of 13 and 30, encompassing both Millennials who came of age in the 80s and 90s, as well as today's middle and high schoolers. The story, aesthetic, and characters of each 8 minute episode will make older viewers nostalgic for their childhood, while also capitalizing on the Snapchat addled attention spans of younger audiences. We see Karate Tortoise eventually having a life on Adult Swim, IFC, or Comedy Central.
It may seem like a lot, but $30,000 is the minimum number we need to complete the Karate Tortoise Series. It will be spent paying all the actors, artists, animators, visual effects supervisors, and production personnel who will make this project a reality. If you'd like to see where your money's going, we've laid it out for you below:
Incentives
$10
Get Your Tweet On
Download our original Karate Tortoise web comic, look book and a social media shout out!
$15
You've Got Mail (like...real mail)
Forget emails, get a postcard from the Karate Tortoise himself (or the Damsel if you're lucky). And you still get to download our look book and comic book!
$25
I Just Wanna SCREAM!!!
We'll post a video of someone from the creative team screaming your name in bustling New York City! Also, get your wet sponges ready and roll up your sleeves as we #TBT with a sick temporary tattoo of the Karate Tortoise, mailed right to your door! Plus all of the above perks!
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Claimed: 83 of 1000
$30
Slap Bracelet
Hey now kids come gather 'round, see what just slapped into town; so slap it, slap it with this Karate Tortoise slap bracelet! Plus all of the above!
Claimed: 11 of 500
$40
You Can Paint With All The Colors Of The Wind
Or with crayons. Studies have shown that adult coloring can lower anxiety, so with this donation you can get your own original, Karate Tortoise coloring book and set of crayons mailed to you for much less than a therapy session! Plus all of the above!
Claimed: 8 of 500
$50
Remember These?
Impress your tinder date with this #FBF balancing bird! If it doesn't go well, you still get everything above, so you can go home afterwards and color your loneliness away!
Claimed: 11 of 500
$65
Tamagotchi
A Tamagotchi. Need I say more? Plus the $30 perk and above!
Claimed: 4 of 500
$75
Lunch (Florida Only)
75% of our core team has worked at Panera, so here’s to Mother Bread! You'll get a voucher for lunch plus the $30 perk and above!
**Voucher only valid in Orlando, Tampa, and East Coast
Claimed: 0 of 20
$85
Billy's Famous Turtle Turds (NYC Only)
A jar of Billy's Famous Turtle Di...Turds. Plus the $65 perk and above!
*Must be local
**Relax. They're just pickles.
Claimed: 1 of 50
$100
Action Figures Sold Separately
Who needs Furby when you can have a hand-sculpted figurine of a Karate Tortoise character? Plus, perks of $30 and above!
Claimed: 19 of 50
$125
Fatty Bonati's Almost Famous Minestrone Soup
Get all the dry ingredients you need to make Fatty Bonati’s Almost Famous Minestrone Soup! Plus the $30 perk and above!
Claimed: 0 of 100
$150
So You Think You Can Write?
Write a sentence to be used in the series!* Plus the $65 perk and above!
*We reserve the right to request rewrites to prevent white supremacists and boring people.
Claimed: 5 of 6
$200
Small Concept Art
Receive an exclusive, original piece of our concept art in the mail, signed by our brilliant artist Brett Ziebarth. Plus the $30 perk and above.
Claimed: 2 of 3
$250
Werk It Out (NYC Only)
Wanna be ripped like the Karate Tortoise? Get a session with a premiere NYC personal trainer, Cedric Cosiac. Plus the $65 perk and above.
Sold Out!
$350
Large Concept Art
Receive an exclusive, large original piece of our concept art in the mail, signed by our brilliant artist Brett Ziebarth. Plus the $30 perk and above.
Claimed: 2 of 3
$750
Set Visit
Come visit the celebrity cast and crew for a day and have lunch on set with us!* Plus, receive the $100 perk and above!
*Travel and Housing not included. Shoot will most likely happen between 12/12/2016-12/16/2016.
Claimed: 0 of 10
$1,000
Walk This Way!
Wanna take a stab at being an actor? Get a walk on role!* Plus the $100 perk and above.
*Travel and Housing not provided. Shoot will most likely happen between 12/12/16-12/16/16.
Claimed: 0 of 4
$1,500
Cut it. Cut it. You need to CUT IT!
Have a collection of home videos that you want to turn into a graduation film? Want to make a commercial for your business? Get 10 hours of editing services from our production team with this perk! Plus the $65 perk and above.
Claimed: 0 of 8
$3,000
Associate Producer Credit
Receive a coveted Associate Producer credit, plus the $65 perk and above!
Claimed: 0 of 10
$10,000
I Want To Get Away! I Want to Flyyyy Awaaaay! Yeah, Yeah, YEAH!
We will fly you* to set to participate in production for a day and have dinner with the cast and crew with accommodations for two nights in NYC! You will also receive an "in association with" credit and $100 perk and above.
And our eternal love and gratitude. Srsly.
*Domestic flights only. Shoot will most likely happen between 12/12/2016-12/16/2016.
Claimed: 0 of 4
$40,000
Mike and Billy Get REAL KT Tattoos
Guys, no joke-if we get $40,000 total or from one rad donor, our produer Billy and creator Mike will get REAL Karate Tortoise tattoos on their thighs. We'll facebook live/periscope/snap them getting the tortoise tattoos so you can see Billy wail like a baby. Plus, Mike is a tattoo virgin!
Plus the $125 perks and above, and we will fly you out for a set visit!
*Domestic flights only. Shoot will most likely happen between 12/12/2016-12/16/2016.
Claimed: 0 of 1
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Wishlist
Use the WishList to pledge cash and loan items - or - Make a pledge by selecting an incentive directly.
$10
Get Your Tweet On
Download our original Karate Tortoise web comic, look book and a social media shout out!
$15
You've Got Mail (like...real mail)
Forget emails, get a postcard from the Karate Tortoise himself (or the Damsel if you're lucky). And you still get to download our look book and comic book!
$25
I Just Wanna SCREAM!!!
We'll post a video of someone from the creative team screaming your name in bustling New York City! Also, get your wet sponges ready and roll up your sleeves as we #TBT with a sick temporary tattoo of the Karate Tortoise, mailed right to your door! Plus all of the above perks!
Claimed: 83 of 1000
$30
Slap Bracelet
Hey now kids come gather 'round, see what just slapped into town; so slap it, slap it with this Karate Tortoise slap bracelet! Plus all of the above!
Claimed: 11 of 500
$40
You Can Paint With All The Colors Of The Wind
Or with crayons. Studies have shown that adult coloring can lower anxiety, so with this donation you can get your own original, Karate Tortoise coloring book and set of crayons mailed to you for much less than a therapy session! Plus all of the above!
Claimed: 8 of 500
$50
Remember These?
Impress your tinder date with this #FBF balancing bird! If it doesn't go well, you still get everything above, so you can go home afterwards and color your loneliness away!
Claimed: 11 of 500
$65
Tamagotchi
A Tamagotchi. Need I say more? Plus the $30 perk and above!
Claimed: 4 of 500
$75
Lunch (Florida Only)
75% of our core team has worked at Panera, so here’s to Mother Bread! You'll get a voucher for lunch plus the $30 perk and above!
**Voucher only valid in Orlando, Tampa, and East Coast
Claimed: 0 of 20
$85
Billy's Famous Turtle Turds (NYC Only)
A jar of Billy's Famous Turtle Di...Turds. Plus the $65 perk and above!
*Must be local
**Relax. They're just pickles.
Claimed: 1 of 50
$100
Action Figures Sold Separately
Who needs Furby when you can have a hand-sculpted figurine of a Karate Tortoise character? Plus, perks of $30 and above!
Claimed: 19 of 50
$125
Fatty Bonati's Almost Famous Minestrone Soup
Get all the dry ingredients you need to make Fatty Bonati’s Almost Famous Minestrone Soup! Plus the $30 perk and above!
Claimed: 0 of 100
$150
So You Think You Can Write?
Write a sentence to be used in the series!* Plus the $65 perk and above!
*We reserve the right to request rewrites to prevent white supremacists and boring people.
Claimed: 5 of 6
$200
Small Concept Art
Receive an exclusive, original piece of our concept art in the mail, signed by our brilliant artist Brett Ziebarth. Plus the $30 perk and above.
Claimed: 2 of 3
$250
Werk It Out (NYC Only)
Wanna be ripped like the Karate Tortoise? Get a session with a premiere NYC personal trainer, Cedric Cosiac. Plus the $65 perk and above.
Sold Out!
$350
Large Concept Art
Receive an exclusive, large original piece of our concept art in the mail, signed by our brilliant artist Brett Ziebarth. Plus the $30 perk and above.
Claimed: 2 of 3
$750
Set Visit
Come visit the celebrity cast and crew for a day and have lunch on set with us!* Plus, receive the $100 perk and above!
*Travel and Housing not included. Shoot will most likely happen between 12/12/2016-12/16/2016.
Claimed: 0 of 10
$1,000
Walk This Way!
Wanna take a stab at being an actor? Get a walk on role!* Plus the $100 perk and above.
*Travel and Housing not provided. Shoot will most likely happen between 12/12/16-12/16/16.
Claimed: 0 of 4
$1,500
Cut it. Cut it. You need to CUT IT!
Have a collection of home videos that you want to turn into a graduation film? Want to make a commercial for your business? Get 10 hours of editing services from our production team with this perk! Plus the $65 perk and above.
Claimed: 0 of 8
$3,000
Associate Producer Credit
Receive a coveted Associate Producer credit, plus the $65 perk and above!
Claimed: 0 of 10
$10,000
I Want To Get Away! I Want to Flyyyy Awaaaay! Yeah, Yeah, YEAH!
We will fly you* to set to participate in production for a day and have dinner with the cast and crew with accommodations for two nights in NYC! You will also receive an "in association with" credit and $100 perk and above.
And our eternal love and gratitude. Srsly.
*Domestic flights only. Shoot will most likely happen between 12/12/2016-12/16/2016.
Claimed: 0 of 4
$40,000
Mike and Billy Get REAL KT Tattoos
Guys, no joke-if we get $40,000 total or from one rad donor, our produer Billy and creator Mike will get REAL Karate Tortoise tattoos on their thighs. We'll facebook live/periscope/snap them getting the tortoise tattoos so you can see Billy wail like a baby. Plus, Mike is a tattoo virgin!
Plus the $125 perks and above, and we will fly you out for a set visit!
*Domestic flights only. Shoot will most likely happen between 12/12/2016-12/16/2016.
Claimed: 0 of 1
- Updates
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Current Team
About This Team
Mike Diaz is a writer/director who's worked all over the world, from Iceland to Australia, Nigeria to Alaska, and everywhere in between. For the last couple of years, he's produced dramatic docuseries for juggernauts like National Geographic Studios. Recently, though, he's returned to his narrative roots, writing and directing scripted content that's at once absurd and darkly comedic and aims to bastardize popular culture from the last thirty years.
Ryan Pomeranz is an award winning director and editor living in New York City. His most recent feature, Pennsylvania Holy Ghosts, is currently streaming on Amazon.com and other fine websites. He has literally no bad qualities to speak of.
Billy Hiller works in New York City as an Engineer and Project Manager in the construction industry. He is also an artist working with multiple mediums such as spray paint, pencil, stop motion, clay and recycled materials, with much inspiration from street artists such as Banksy, Shepard Fairy and Space Invader. His imaginative work was shown in FRESH! at the JanKossen Contemporary and has also been up for auction for charitable causes.
Kristina Mueller is an actress/producer who is originally from Munich, Germany and now based in Brooklyn, NY. Producing credits: BE The Series(www.BEtheseries.com), Winner of the Audience Award at SF Web Fest 2015. Acting credits: Grasses Of A Thousand Colors by Wallace Shawn (The Public Theatre); Shotspeare: Romeo & Juliet (The Slipper Room, NY & Planet Hollywood Casino in Las Vegas); Hand Grenades (Fringe NYC); BE The Series. NYU/Tisch, Stella Adler, RADA.
Shani Rajesh Patel is a filmmaker and photographer based out of New York City. After graduating high school Shani spent time at the public access television station, PATV 18, in Iowa City, Iowa. At PATV Shani trained local citizens to use video and editing tools, enabling them to create their own content for the station. While in Iowa City, Shani was a principle organizer of the inaugural Mission Creek Midwest Music & Arts Festival for which he was a coordinator and videographer. In 2006, Shani began working as a Photojournalist for KGAN CBS 2 News in Iowa. During that time he covered the 2008 Presidential Election and severe weather events. Since his move to NYC he has directed and produced short films and is a producer for the sketch comedy series The Shorts Show. When not working on a film, Shani has been cultivating an old hobby into a new profession, still photography.
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