Killing Myself.

New York City, New York | Film Short

Drama, Teen

Jillian Sobrino

2 Campaigns | New York, United States

Green Light

This campaign raised $15,898 for production. Follow the filmmaker to receive future updates on this project.

67 supporters | followers

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Eve, a Filipino-American teenage girl, has decided she's going to kill herself and leave a suicide note for her mother. When she leaves the house to get cigarettes for one last smoke, she meets Dawn who pulls her into a fun ride and while her mother discovers her suicide note, she rediscovers life.

About The Project

  • The Story
  • Wishlist
  • Updates
  • The Team
  • Community

Mission Statement

KILLING MYSELF. is a lighthearted, coming-of-age story that aims to recognize the fragility of youth, purposeful ignorance to mental health in Asian-American communities, and those little moments that could change everything.

The Story

Killing Myself. follows 17-year-old EVE. The sarcastic, cynical teen realizes shes run out of cigarettes while writing her suicide note. On her way to the bridge, she stops by a convenience store where she gets rejected a new pack by the cashier. Desperate, Eve notices DAWN smoking outside of the store and bums a cigarette off her but is abruptly pulled into her antics, delaying her trip to the bridge. 

Image references for style and tone, as well as color palette. 

(References: Lady Bird and We Are Who We Are)

Eve (17), the protagonist, is a Filipino-American teenage girl is shy/nervous person who struggles with depression. She can also be quite sarcastic, but straightforward at times.

Eve's mood board.

(References: Euphoria and Frances Ha)

Dawn (18) is a carefree, impulsive cool girl with a shaved head who is busy running from her own problems so she remains oblivious to how others might feel. 

Dawn's mood board.

(References: Mid90s)

Killing Myself. is really about youth and how it can feel so fragile at times. Life feels like it's moving so fast, yet it can also feel like you're not going anywhere at all - especially when you're young. Although my teenage years were difficult to say the least, they hold the majority of lifes little moments that mean something. And I really wanted to showcase that in this film - those little moments that mean something.

To be honest, writing this story took a piece of me everytime I came back to it. I cried and I laughed and I breathed. I am someone who struggles with vulnerability so putting myself in a situation where I had to be in order to tell this story as authentically as possible was draining at times, but mostly it was beautiful. Although my protagonist is Filipino - this is not a Filipino story. This is not even an American story. This is a HUMAN story.

I hold this story, and these women, incredibly close to my heart and I hope that you will too.

Compositional References.

Growing up in an Asian-American household, outwardly expressing our emotions wasn't something that happened. I didn't like (and still don't like) being vulnerable because I thought it might coin me as "weak" or "crazy" and it was killing me. 

Growing up was painful. It is painful. And I imagine a lot of people feel the same way. But despite all of the pain, there was so much beauty. There's beauty in being lost and trying to figure yourself out - figuring the world out. And there's beauty in being present. 

The protagonist being an Asian-American girl who struggles with depression all serves as a texture for this story because more than anything - this is a story about growing up and letting go.  

Below, you'll find a breakdown of our preliminary budget sheet. As you can see, you'd be helping pay for production and post-production costs as well as COVID compliance. It's important to us that our cast and crew are able to work in a safe environment during the pandemic - which is why we will be providing masks, sanitizer, as well as COVID tests. With your help, we'll be able to get through production safely!

  • Above the line: $2,725
  • Production Expenses: $9,585
  • Post-Production Expenses: $1,000
  • Other Expenses: $2,497

Development (September 2021 - November 2021): This time was spent brainstorming, writing, re-writing, and re-writing again until the script felt alive and finished. 

Pre-Production (December 2021 - February 2022): Now that the script is finished, my producers at Keep or Destroy Productions and I are currently in pre-production (this is where you come in)! Right now, we are in the process of casting, hiring crew, location scouting, and of course - crowdfunding! All of this is happening sort of at once so we are busy busy busy, but so very excited!

Production (February 2022): Our shoot days are locked in for February 25th - February 27th in Brooklyn, NY! The shoot days are limited to help stop the spread of COVID-19 so we will be making the most out of our cast and crews time while keeping the set as safe as possible by providing masks, sanitizer, and COVID tests.

Post-Production (March 2022 - April 2022): Editing will begin shortly after production and will take place in the School of Visual Arts facilities for color grading and sound mixing. We will have a final product of the film by May!

Distribution: Once the film is finished, we plan to enter the festival circuit! Because our costs don't include festival submission, any extra funds we may receive will go towards helping us enter festivals and (hopefully) attending them!

Follow

Following our campaign is FREE and you'll be able to stay updated with Killing Myself! With more followers, we can receive festival fee waivers, products, and other services from Seed&Spark!

Pledge

We need to reach 80% of our goal to greenlight our project and keep the funds -- so no pledge is too small!

Spread The Word

This story is for EVERYONE -- so tell your friends, family, coworkers...anyone you can think of! You can also help by sharing our campaign through social media, email, text, however you feel comfortable doing so!

Here are some pre-written messages you can copy, paste, and tweak as you please:

  • Help writer/director @jilliansobrino make her upcoming short film, KILLING MYSELF. Join her on @seedandspark: https://bit.ly/killingmyselffilm
  • Can’t wait to watch KILLING MYSELF by writer/director @jilliansobrino shooting spring 2022 in New York City! Support women filmmakers @seedandspark: https://bit.ly/killingmyselffilm
  • Hi! I’m excited to say that I just pledged to support KILLING MYSELF on Seed&Spark! This is the first independent short film by Jillian Sobrino and her talented team of producers at Keep or Destroy Productions! They’re raising $15,807 by February 9th to greenlight production! I’m sharing this with you because I’m excited to see this film and I think you’ll be too: https://bit.ly/killingmyselffilm Please pledge if you’re able and spread the word about this fantastic project!

I can't thank you enough for your support. As an Asian-American woman in film, it wouldn't be possible without people like you who are helping bring these stories to life. This is for you. 

 

 

Wishlist

Use the WishList to Pledge cash and Loan items - or - Make a pledge by selecting an Incentive directly.

Cash Pledge

Costs $0

Cast & Crew

Costs $8,035

To compensate our talented actors and crew for their time and energy put into the film.

Production Staff

Costs $2,100

To pay a stipend for our production staff.

Locations and Catering

Costs $2,175

To pay for location permits and catering.

Transportation

Costs $630

To pay to transport our equipment to set.

Film Editing

Costs $1,000

To pay for post-production of the film -- to make the film a reality!

COVID Compliance

Costs $1,060

To pay for our safety against COVID-19 (masks, hand sanitizer, etc.)

Other Expenses

Costs $807

To pay for other expenses we may need for set.

About This Team

Keep or Destroy Productions

Keep or Destroy is a Brooklyn-based full service production company. Their work has premiered at dozens of film festivals internationally including the Academy Award qualifying Raindance Film Festival and Rhode Island International Film Festival as well as Provincetown Film Festival, Indie Memphis Film Festival, Vancouver Web Fest, Nightmares Film Festival and many more. Keep or Destroy's work has received numerous accolades including wins and nominations for “Best Comedy,” “Best Writing,” “Best Director,” “Best Ensemble Cast,” and more. Collectively, the Keep or Destroy team proudly served on the Narrative Shorts Jury for the 2020 Charlotte Film Festival and their 2019 short The Housesitters was recently released as an Alter Exclusive. The most recent film from Keep or Destroy, The Disaster Dreams features an all-star cast including Edie Falco, Bobby Cannavale, Judith Light and more. Their first feature, Stacy, God of Pain is currently in development.

 

Jillian Junco

Writer/Director/EP

Jillian is a Filipino-American filmmaker from West Virginia. She received her Bachelor of Arts in Digital Filmmaking in 2020. The summer before Jillian's senior year, she interned for Radical Media LLC in New York City where she worked on the production team for the docu-series PBS American Portrait. After graduating, she moved to New York City to pursue her Masters in Directing at The School of Visual Arts. 

 

Lianne Becker & Collin Meath

Producers

Lianne and Collin are a filmmaking team with extensive experience producing and directing narrative and documentary shorts under the umbrella of Brooklyn-based production company Keep or Destroy. Their work has premiered at dozens of film festivals internationally including Raindance, Rhode Island International Film Festival, Indie Memphis Film Festival, Vancouver Web Fest, Soho International Film Festival and many more. Both Collin and Lianne proudly served on the Narrative Shorts Jury for the 2020 Charlotte Film Festival and their 2019 short The Housesitters was recently released as an Alter Exclusive. Their most recent film The Disaster Dreams, directed by Lianne and featuring an all-star cast including Edie Falco, Bobby Cannavale, Judith Light and more, just screened as an official selection of the Provincetown Film Festival and Middlebury New Filmmakers Festival. Lianne and Collin are both alumni of Boston University’s College of Fine Arts. For more info please check out www.keepordestroy.com

 

 

Current Team

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