Killing Myself. follows 17-year-old EVE. The sarcastic, cynical teen realizes shes run out of cigarettes while writing her suicide note. On her way to the bridge, she stops by a convenience store where she gets rejected a new pack by the cashier. Desperate, Eve notices DAWN smoking outside of the store and bums a cigarette off her but is abruptly pulled into her antics, delaying her trip to the bridge. 

Image references for style and tone, as well as color palette. 

(References: Lady Bird and We Are Who We Are)

Eve (17), the protagonist, is a Filipino-American teenage girl is shy/nervous person who struggles with depression. She can also be quite sarcastic, but straightforward at times.

Eve's mood board.

(References: Euphoria and Frances Ha)

Dawn (18) is a carefree, impulsive cool girl with a shaved head who is busy running from her own problems so she remains oblivious to how others might feel. 

Dawn's mood board.

(References: Mid90s)

Killing Myself. is really about youth and how it can feel so fragile at times. Life feels like it's moving so fast, yet it can also feel like you're not going anywhere at all - especially when you're young. Although my teenage years were difficult to say the least, they hold the majority of lifes little moments that mean something. And I really wanted to showcase that in this film - those little moments that mean something.

To be honest, writing this story took a piece of me everytime I came back to it. I cried and I laughed and I breathed. I am someone who struggles with vulnerability so putting myself in a situation where I had to be in order to tell this story as authentically as possible was draining at times, but mostly it was beautiful. Although my protagonist is Filipino - this is not a Filipino story. This is not even an American story. This is a HUMAN story.

I hold this story, and these women, incredibly close to my heart and I hope that you will too.

Compositional References.

Growing up in an Asian-American household, outwardly expressing our emotions wasn't something that happened. I didn't like (and still don't like) being vulnerable because I thought it might coin me as "weak" or "crazy" and it was killing me. 

Growing up was painful. It is painful. And I imagine a lot of people feel the same way. But despite all of the pain, there was so much beauty. There's beauty in being lost and trying to figure yourself out - figuring the world out. And there's beauty in being present. 

The protagonist being an Asian-American girl who struggles with depression all serves as a texture for this story because more than anything - this is a story about growing up and letting go.  

Below, you'll find a breakdown of our preliminary budget sheet. As you can see, you'd be helping pay for production and post-production costs as well as COVID compliance. It's important to us that our cast and crew are able to work in a safe environment during the pandemic - which is why we will be providing masks, sanitizer, as well as COVID tests. With your help, we'll be able to get through production safely!

• Above the line: $2,725
• Production Expenses: $9,585
• Post-Production Expenses: $1,000
• Other Expenses: $2,497

Development (September 2021 - November 2021): This time was spent brainstorming, writing, re-writing, and re-writing again until the script felt alive and finished. 

Pre-Production (December 2021 - February 2022): Now that the script is finished, my producers at Keep or Destroy Productions and I are currently in pre-production (this is where you come in)! Right now, we are in the process of casting, hiring crew, location scouting, and of course - crowdfunding! All of this is happening sort of at once so we are busy busy busy, but so very excited!

Production (February 2022): Our shoot days are locked in for February 25th - February 27th in Brooklyn, NY! The shoot days are limited to help stop the spread of COVID-19 so we will be making the most out of our cast and crews time while keeping the set as safe as possible by providing masks, sanitizer, and COVID tests.

Post-Production (March 2022 - April 2022): Editing will begin shortly after production and will take place in the School of Visual Arts facilities for color grading and sound mixing. We will have a final product of the film by May!

Distribution: Once the film is finished, we plan to enter the festival circuit! Because our costs don't include festival submission, any extra funds we may receive will go towards helping us enter festivals and (hopefully) attending them!

Follow

Following our campaign is FREE and you'll be able to stay updated with Killing Myself! With more followers, we can receive festival fee waivers, products, and other services from Seed&Spark!

Pledge

We need to reach 80% of our goal to greenlight our project and keep the funds -- so no pledge is too small!

Spread The Word

This story is for EVERYONE -- so tell your friends, family, coworkers...anyone you can think of! You can also help by sharing our campaign through social media, email, text, however you feel comfortable doing so!

Here are some pre-written messages you can copy, paste, and tweak as you please:

• Help writer/director @jilliansobrino make her upcoming short film, KILLING MYSELF. Join her on @seedandspark: https://bit.ly/killingmyselffilm
• Can’t wait to watch KILLING MYSELF by writer/director @jilliansobrino shooting spring 2022 in New York City! Support women filmmakers @seedandspark: https://bit.ly/killingmyselffilm
• Hi! I’m excited to say that I just pledged to support KILLING MYSELF on Seed&Spark! This is the first independent short film by Jillian Sobrino and her talented team of producers at Keep or Destroy Productions! They’re raising $15,807 by February 9th to greenlight production! I’m sharing this with you because I’m excited to see this film and I think you’ll be too: https://bit.ly/killingmyselffilm Please pledge if you’re able and spread the word about this fantastic project!

I can't thank you enough for your support. As an Asian-American woman in film, it wouldn't be possible without people like you who are helping bring these stories to life. This is for you.