The odd friendship between the babysitter, Tucker, and child, Sebastian is an ode to yearning for connection amidst our society’s epidemic of loneliness. Slowly throughout the story Tucker and Sebastian reveal their kindred spirits to each other and heal their separateness by way of ecstatic catharsis and union, under the full moon. Their support to each other reveals that the spell holds more power than just summoning a partner, but rather it’s a battle cry to be witnessed and love whoever is in front of you.

I wrote the script pre-Corona Virus, but the pandemic made the already present themes of isolation, longing, and a turning to a higher power more relevant. As a single person, who lost their job during the crisis, my experience of quarantine was very withdrawn. My heart underwent a painful excavation, having endless time to reflect on past lovers, failed dreams, and despair towards the future. My capacity for tenderness towards myself was truly tested.

The ritual to honor Venus in the film is a real ritual, shared by the world renowned Astrologer Caroline W. Casey in her audio book Visionary Activist Astrology. During quarantine I performed the ritual SEVERAL times. Each time I completed the interestingly tricky steps I meditated on the characters in my script and their internal landscapes of aloneness. It became my escape and path to heal myself into loving, all the while laughing at myself for earnestly repeating an incantation while releasing waxy bread into the trash filled pond in Prospect Park.     

Tucker, in her 30’s, is considered old to be a babysitter, but needs the “under the table” work. Tucker’s sexuality is repressed by patriarchy and her sensitivity hinders her ability to engage in typical modes of meeting a partner, i.e. online dating. Instead she turns to the occult. Tucker is mined from my own trauma and life experiences. I’ve worked in the service industry for over a decade as a nanny, server and yoga teacher. The shutdown in March revealed how unprotected I was as a laborer, which had previously always disturbed me, but remained normalized. The lack of boundaries in my work place carried over into my romantic life. Though I hold utmost respect and admiration for people who meet on the apps, their transactional nature always left me feeling alienated. I never had energy to prove myself to a total stranger on an iphone, because I felt drained by feelings deficiency in so many other arenas of my day to day. My hope is that by birthing this permutation of myself into the film, viewers can relate to the experience of feeling small and feel seen.

Sebastian, an over stimulated, precocious 11 year old, is given many luxuries, but is overlooked by his narcissistic parent. As an only child who doesn’t fit into stereotypical gender roles, he cultivates his private pretend world, in which he, like Tucker, also connects with mysticism. He plays by acting as an ICU doctor to his stuffed animals who are Covid-19 patients. His twist as a medical professional is that he uses crystal therapy for his patients.

Quarantine granted me a pause and exit off of the capitalistic work grind. I had time to develop a relationship with the child actor, Sebastian Sinclair. Through weekly FaceTime conversations and socially distanced walks, I incorporated Sebastian’s personality into the character. He confided in me about the confusion he was experiencing attending virtual school and not being able to interact with his peers.  He detailed to me his pretend ICU hospital he designed with his little sister. In their make-believe hospital, they test their stuffed animals for Covid-19, but don’t have enough beds for all of them, making the game realistic. He unabashedly expressed a deep sadness and told me that he turned to prayer to self soothe, despite not being raised with religion. In this unprecedented time, it felt hopeful to connect with a child and bring him into a creative and nurturing process. We developed a deep friendship, which translated on screen.

I wanted to capture the strangeness of NYC, in real time, almost Doc-Narrative style with a small crew and we did! The tone is self aware, comedic, and tender. Tucker’s intention is painfully earnest and riddled with self criticism, yet her tie to Sebastian is poignant. The protagonists’ voyage into the night is a love letter to N.Y.C. post lockdown. Their mask-wearing route evokes a childlike nostalgia utilizing voice over, and framing their bodies through various locations like a dance film.  I lived through 9/11 as a young child in N.Y.C. I remember the discord in trying to understand the extent of the tragedy. Using this memory, I wanted to capture this time of crisis from a child’s vantage point, highlighting the beautiful stillness that simultaneously exists in our disaster. The film is shot on 16mm, detailing this nuanced perspective with sensitive texture. Furthermore, the alchemical process that occurs while developing film mirrors the magic that transpires between Tucker and Sebastian.

There were many added challenges to filming during Covid-19 in 90-100 degree weather in N.Y.C. Our crew followed all safety precautions and supported one another with care through this unknown terrain. Our crew was comprised of 50% people of color and of white people more than half were women. The Love Spell was produced, written, and directed by women. Our inclusive hiring made our set feel comfortable and safe, reflecting the demographic population of the city we live in and industry we work in. It is my hope our set can serve as an example for a non-competitive, nurturing work environment that we should all fight for.    

We are nearing picture lock and seeking finishing funds to complete our Sound Design and Color Grade. The short was my first foray into 16mm film and is a proof of concept for a larger project, which will continue to develop over the course of our festival run! The Love Spell will eventually be released online so that our hopeful nugget can be shared internationally<3