Vampire Wireless
Chicago, Illinois | Film Feature
Comedy, Horror
As part of Polymyth Productions' 15th anniversary, we're making a feature film! Celebrating the amazing talent of Chicago both in front of and behind the camera, Vampire Wireless dares to ask which is worse, an ancient vampire or a dead-end retail job?
Vampire Wireless
Chicago, Illinois | Film Feature
Comedy, Horror
1 Campaigns | Illinois, United States
10 supporters | followers
Enter the amount you would like to pledge
$1,920
Goal: $8,000 for post-production
As part of Polymyth Productions' 15th anniversary, we're making a feature film! Celebrating the amazing talent of Chicago both in front of and behind the camera, Vampire Wireless dares to ask which is worse, an ancient vampire or a dead-end retail job?
About The Project
- The Story
- Wishlist
- Updates
- The Team
- Community
Mission Statement
The Story
Every year, under the blood moon, a vampire returns to a lonely strip mall in Guncie, Illinois to feast upon the living. This year, the vampire's unwitting new victim is Joust Mobile, a C-tier cell phone store. However, Joust's employees, including a hopelessly incompetent manager, a Dolly Parton-wannabe, a desperate baby daddy, an aspiring beat poet/pick up artist, and failed cartoonist, are all too busy trying to pull one over on their co-workers and customers to notice the evil picking them off one by one...
We want to invoke that feeling of being a teenager, watching cable television way too late at night, and discovering a wild film you've never even heard of. A movie that you can't wait to tell all your friends about.
Vampire Wireless is a wild farce that combines the deadpan workplace of Party Down with the undead hijinks of What We Do in the Shadows. Shot on location in the suburbs of Chicago, we've built an entire cell phone store in a real strip mall to give audiences that authentic Midwest experience. Like, seriously. We had to put a sign on the door to prevent people from trying to shop there.
This film is being created by Polymyth Productions in celebration of our 15th anniversary. Over the years we've made countless incredible corporate videos, tv pilots, and more for our clients, and now we're making something of our very own. This is a celebration of the amazing talent the greater Chicago area has to offer both in front and behind the camera. This is 100% genuine, real human nonsense, with no generative AI.
Production Timeline:
October 2025 - Joust Mobile Store Build
November 2025 - Principal Production on location in Grayslake IL
December 2025 - Additional Production in Chicago and Grayslake
January 2026-Summer 2026 - Post-production, Preview screener release
Fall 2026 - Festival run begins
Campaign Goal: 8,000 - We're already funding this project out of pocket, but we're going to use these additional funds to help complete post-production. What we're most excited is to use this as a way to share our movie with as many people as possible as early as we can.
But maybe most importantly, by getting to 8,000 we'll have enough money to finish our movie by blowing a miniature of Joust Mobile to smithereens.
However, we still got big dreams if we're able to meet stretch goals.
20,000 - Additional Pay for Amazing Cast and Crew
30,000 - PR and Film Fest Entry Fees Covered for Production
40,000 - Full Proper Film Scoring Covered
Wishlist
Use the WishList to Pledge cash and Loan items - or - Make a pledge by selecting an Incentive directly.
Post Effects Work
Costs $4,000
We're all about practical effects, but we're going to need to do some basic post effects work to really make those blood effects shine.
Additional Music Scoring
Costs $2,000
For all the synth that this retro throwback score demands. Which is a lot of synth.
Joust Mobile Minature
Costs $2,000
For a special shot, we want to blow up a tiny miniature of Joust Mobile. And we need your help to do it.
Direct link:
Share this update!
About This Team
Vampire Wireless features an amazing cast pulled from all across the Chicago comedy and performance scenes, including everyone from veteran voiceover pros to improv experts.
Vampire Wireless is written and directed by Dan Finnen, one of the co-founders of Polymyth Productions. In addition to producing and directing hundreds of videos, Dan also hosts the Chicago Writers Podcast for the Stories Matter Foundation and is passionate about photography and running. Dan is hard of hearing, wears hearing aids in both ears, and in an ironic twist of fate, has initials that spell out ‘DEF.’
Cast highlights:
Ashlee Lawhorn
Cecil Archbold
Nick Davis
Daniela Aguilar
Nick DiMaso
Luke Daigle
Sabine Wan
Lindsey Fisher
Sage Huston
Mike Brunlieb
and many more!
Crew highlights:
Director of Photography - Derek Cox
Production Designer - Megan Schmidt
Location Design - Lena Rush
Executive Producers - Aleks Vasic, Jon Broeker, Derek Cox, and Dan Finnen of Polymyth Productions
and many more!
Current Team
Incentives
- The Story
- Wishlist
- Updates
- The Team
- Community
Mission Statement
The Story
Every year, under the blood moon, a vampire returns to a lonely strip mall in Guncie, Illinois to feast upon the living. This year, the vampire's unwitting new victim is Joust Mobile, a C-tier cell phone store. However, Joust's employees, including a hopelessly incompetent manager, a Dolly Parton-wannabe, a desperate baby daddy, an aspiring beat poet/pick up artist, and failed cartoonist, are all too busy trying to pull one over on their co-workers and customers to notice the evil picking them off one by one...
We want to invoke that feeling of being a teenager, watching cable television way too late at night, and discovering a wild film you've never even heard of. A movie that you can't wait to tell all your friends about.
Vampire Wireless is a wild farce that combines the deadpan workplace of Party Down with the undead hijinks of What We Do in the Shadows. Shot on location in the suburbs of Chicago, we've built an entire cell phone store in a real strip mall to give audiences that authentic Midwest experience. Like, seriously. We had to put a sign on the door to prevent people from trying to shop there.
This film is being created by Polymyth Productions in celebration of our 15th anniversary. Over the years we've made countless incredible corporate videos, tv pilots, and more for our clients, and now we're making something of our very own. This is a celebration of the amazing talent the greater Chicago area has to offer both in front and behind the camera. This is 100% genuine, real human nonsense, with no generative AI.
Production Timeline:
October 2025 - Joust Mobile Store Build
November 2025 - Principal Production on location in Grayslake IL
December 2025 - Additional Production in Chicago and Grayslake
January 2026-Summer 2026 - Post-production, Preview screener release
Fall 2026 - Festival run begins
Campaign Goal: 8,000 - We're already funding this project out of pocket, but we're going to use these additional funds to help complete post-production. What we're most excited is to use this as a way to share our movie with as many people as possible as early as we can.
But maybe most importantly, by getting to 8,000 we'll have enough money to finish our movie by blowing a miniature of Joust Mobile to smithereens.
However, we still got big dreams if we're able to meet stretch goals.
20,000 - Additional Pay for Amazing Cast and Crew
30,000 - PR and Film Fest Entry Fees Covered for Production
40,000 - Full Proper Film Scoring Covered
Wishlist
Use the WishList to Pledge cash and Loan items - or - Make a pledge by selecting an Incentive directly.
Post Effects Work
Costs $4,000
We're all about practical effects, but we're going to need to do some basic post effects work to really make those blood effects shine.
Additional Music Scoring
Costs $2,000
For all the synth that this retro throwback score demands. Which is a lot of synth.
Joust Mobile Minature
Costs $2,000
For a special shot, we want to blow up a tiny miniature of Joust Mobile. And we need your help to do it.
Direct link:
Share this update!
About This Team
Vampire Wireless features an amazing cast pulled from all across the Chicago comedy and performance scenes, including everyone from veteran voiceover pros to improv experts.
Vampire Wireless is written and directed by Dan Finnen, one of the co-founders of Polymyth Productions. In addition to producing and directing hundreds of videos, Dan also hosts the Chicago Writers Podcast for the Stories Matter Foundation and is passionate about photography and running. Dan is hard of hearing, wears hearing aids in both ears, and in an ironic twist of fate, has initials that spell out ‘DEF.’
Cast highlights:
Ashlee Lawhorn
Cecil Archbold
Nick Davis
Daniela Aguilar
Nick DiMaso
Luke Daigle
Sabine Wan
Lindsey Fisher
Sage Huston
Mike Brunlieb
and many more!
Crew highlights:
Director of Photography - Derek Cox
Production Designer - Megan Schmidt
Location Design - Lena Rush
Executive Producers - Aleks Vasic, Jon Broeker, Derek Cox, and Dan Finnen of Polymyth Productions
and many more!